It's 4:26 AM right now. And of course, I'm sitting in front of the computer again. But I'm not chatting or surfing this time. I just finished packing what I think are all the little living essentials I will need for the apartment. This is the last time I am sleeping in my bed with this place being my only residence. I've spent the last 8 yrs of my life in this house. It's amazing how time flies. When I first got here, Pooky was a little puppy. Now he's grown into an old dog. I don't wanna leave him, but I have to. How could I forget my friends here in Irvine. I know I'm not dying or anything, but it's an end to an era in my life. I was thinking today how sad it must be for my mom especially. I think my dad will cope with my departure a little better than my mom. I know she still feels like she needs to take care of me. And even though I want to be independent, a part of me is sad in acknowledging that I slowly am becoming independent. In my mind's eye, my parents were always the ones with the answers. No matter what happened, they would always be there to catch me. Now I see that that net isn't quite big enough. It's not the type of thing where they can just slap a bandage on and send you on your merry way. I know I have been placed in a position that they were never ever fortunate enough to have. To be given a chance like this for an education and to secure a good life for my family is a blessing. I know that I do take this for granted, as many of us do. Somehow, I've just got to be more focused. I have got to channel all of my abilities into doing something good not only for myself, but for the community and perhaps humanity if I were ever able. It's a cheesy thing to say, but one person can make a huge difference. I think a lot of us lose sight of this. We get lost in the daily drone of life. We squander our time and manage to scrape by when the pressure is turned up. Sometimes we spend all of our time bemoaning our existence and remaining cynical. But really, what good does that do? It's good to acknowledge the things that need to be remedied in society or any other institutions within. But to just stand and shake your head in disapproval? Where's the movement? "The movement you need is on your shoulders" --Paul McCartney, Hey Jude. It's time for me to say goodbye to my days here. I'll surely miss it. But I've done all that needs to be done here. Even though I'm leaving, I'm glad that I can look back on my years here and not regret how I lived it. I'm glad that I don't feel like I'm fleeing from this place because of my need to fulfill a void in my life elsewhere. I found all the love and happiness where I am. I think when I left high school, my feelings were quite the contrary. I wanted out of here more than anything. I wanted to move to UCLA like no other. But, I think it was God's will for me to go through the things I did here at UCI, and to make peace with things here. I'm glad I stayed. So I guess I can relish the few remaining moments I have left here. And now I can sweetly rest my head knowing that I am exactly where I have wanted to be all my life....except nicer abs would be desireable. = D Time for bed. ZzZzZz.

Well, it is officially Thursday. I am counting down the last 2 days I have living at home. Well, not really since I will be back Sunday night. I think I am really going to miss home. Gosh, school is starting up so quickly. I know once again I will be back to my hectic, insane schedule. I'll be walking around like a zombie 24-7 from my sleep deprivation. I'll be on the phone with Frank all evening as I try my hardest to study. Gosh, what a life it'll be. Ah, but it's gonna be Westwood! I feel like I am moving to Vegas or something. All the lights, the night life. You know what I am most excited about? Just all the culture there! Irvine and Orange County seems to be completely devoid of it. I mean, every shopping center in OC looks the same. I can be friggin' anywhere, and you'll see the same franchises everywhere. But oh, it will be nothing like that in LA. And who can forget all the venues for music? I don't even care that most of the bands will not be so great. At least they get a chance to play. But then there are tons of musicians you have never heard of that will just leave your jaw on the floor....eventually forcing you to ask for more, more, more. It'll be so great. Hopefully the band, URS, will get itself together so we'll be able to play some of these places. But I keep distracting myself with the cello. I gotta focus. It's so hard to find that focus. *scratches head* What to do? What to do? Perhaps get offline would be a good idea. Yah, I think that could be a great idea. Catch you guys later.